It's Time to Take a Step Back...and That's OK

I am THE career woman. The hard worker. The one who always has ambition focused on providing for their family. I had the do-it-all attitude-- valuing independence and dedication to the point where I knew I could do anything if I put my heart into it. And this outlook resulted in great achievements and successes as well as an unbelievable amount of pressure.

I was the teammate unwilling to draw attention to myself, even if I handled the majority of the job. I did this because I thought being a good team member was more important than highlighting my accomplishments. It reached the point where people would subtly come to me for help without mentioning my involvement during meetings.

It reached the point where I would be given tasks that some senior developers couldn't do, and I finished each task swiftly, usually before any other teammates realized how complicated they were.

So, I certainly minimized my role at my own cost-- devoting effort to aid others over showcasing the fact that I worked diligently on tasks that people with much more experience couldn't accomplish within the same timeframe.

Sure, I got compliments during the retrospectives and people thanked me for my help so they wouldn't have to suffer as much as I did. But did it come with rewards like bonuses or higher raises than anyone else? Of course not!

Each sprint simply become worse than the last. Despite helping out others, I was made the designated person to explore uncharted fields of technology, such as improving our architecture or migrating to a language that none of us had any knowledge of.

As a consequence, I brought upon myself the belief that "If I can just get through this ticket, everything will be okay". But things never improved; the void of stress only deepened.

Unfortunately, I had become a target of one of the senior developers who was well-known for his hard-to-work-with attitude. Whenever I had to collaborate with him, I was forced to be constantly vigilant. It felt like I had been cast into hell and it was all my own doing.

I bring up an important issue, one that female tech workers face regularly. Sadly, the more you climb corporate ladders, the worse it gets. I've had project managers break down on the phone with me as they describe being emotionally abused by directors who lack empathy and accountability.

Unfortunately, for a woman to survive in this kind of setting the only viable solution is to be as aggressive as her male counterparts. This leads many women to act less like friends and more like adversaries towards each other in the workplace environment.

For me, tech is a means to an end. I wear my heart on my sleeve and corporate simply isn't for me. I've worked in fintech for nearly 4 years, and I use that money to fund my investments and become more active within my community.

I often remind myself that I'm being paid for a particular job and no more. That way, it won't be wrong for me to maintain a consistent work level, allocate some time away from work, or simply spend quality time with family members on the weekends.

So, if you're anything like me, I want to remind you that it's okay to take a step back and smell the roses. After all, the stress really isn't worth your well-being.

Side Note: The book 'How Women Rise' is beneficial not just for women, but anyone looking to better their career prospects, especially those from disadvantaged backgrounds! If you have the chance, give this a read (or listen to the audiobook) and please leave your thoughts in the comments section below!